Standing in Terminal 2 at Heathrow, clutching my boarding pass to Lisbon like it was made of gold, I had this moment where I genuinely considered turning around and running home. My first solo trip abroad, and every worst-case scenario was playing out in my head. What if I got lost? What if I hated eating alone? What if I was just too socially awkward to meet anyone?
Twenty-three years later, I’ve been to 12 countries solo – including a 6 month stay in Rio de Janeiro in my mid twenties. And while I won’t pretend it’s all Instagram-worthy sunsets and life-changing epiphanies (though there are some), I’ve learned that most of our solo travel fears are just stories we tell ourselves. The reality is that you’re capable of way more than you think.
Solo travel used to terrify me because I believed I needed someone else to validate my experiences, to help me navigate, or simply to keep me company. Turns out, those fears were teaching me something important – they were showing me exactly where I needed to grow.
What’s holding you back from solo travel? Let’s conquer it together!
Naming the Fears
Let’s be honest about what actually scares us, shall we? After experiencing it myself and speaking to other solo travellers on the way, I discovered most of us fear the same thing.
Safety concerns are top the list. As a woman, I immediately have to consider a lot of things before going anywhere alone, let alone travelling. So I spent hours reading horror stories about harassment, dodgy hostels, and getting lost in sketchy neighbourhoods. It didn’t help that my mum kept forwarding me articles about tourists going missing. And of course, safety is still a concern whatever your gender.
Then there’s the loneliness factor. I remember thinking, what’s the point of seeing the Sagrada Família if there’s no one to share the moment with? Who takes your photo? Who do you turn to when something amazing happens and you want to say “Did you see that?!”
And let’s not forget the practical stuff – fear of getting lost without anyone to help navigate, language barriers making simple tasks impossible, or having a complete logistical meltdown with no backup plan.
My biggest fear was getting lost in a city where I didn’t speak the language. I had visions of wandering around Prague totally confused, unable to even ask for directions properly. The thought of being that helpless made my anxiety spike every time.
But here’s the thing – these fears are ridiculously common. Thousands of people sharing the exact same worries. But that fear is the gatekeeper to adventure. It’s normal to feel a little apprehensive, but it must not stop you from experiencing what the world has to offer.
Starting Small – My First Solo Step
The golden rule to your first steps into solo travel is to start small. Sounds obvious, right? But I almost ignored this advice because I wanted to do something ‘proper’ – like backpack through Southeast Asia or interrail across Europe.
Thank god I didn’t.
My first solo trip was a weekend in Bath. Two hours from London on the train, familiar language, same currency. I booked a quirky Airbnb near the city centre and planned exactly one thing per day – the Roman Baths on Saturday, Pulteney Bridge on Sunday. That’s it.
I was nervous as hell getting on that train. But by Sunday afternoon, wandering through the farmers market with a pasty in hand, I felt… capable. Independent. Like I could actually do this.
Here’s what worked for me:
- Pick somewhere close to home (2-3 hours max for your first go).
- Book accommodation with stellar reviews – This is why I’m a little obsessed with writing them now.
- Plan one activity per day – don’t create a military schedule that’ll stress you out.
A friend of mine started with day trips to nearby cities before even attempting overnight stays. She’d take the train to Manchester in the morning, explore for eight hours, then come home the same day. After five day trips, a weekend away felt like nothing.
The key is building that confidence muscle. Each small solo adventure makes the next one feel less daunting. It’s like training for a marathon – you don’t start with 26 miles.
Preparation is Power
I used to think over-planning would ruin the spontaneity of travel. Turns out, having a solid foundation actually gives you more freedom to be spontaneous – because you know you’ve got the basics covered.
Before my Mexico City trip (my third proper solo adventure), I spent a week researching. Not in a obsessive way, just sensible prep. I found out which neighbourhoods were safe for lone females, booked a hostel in Condesa that other solo travellers raved about, and downloaded offline maps of the entire city.
That preparation transformed my anxiety into excitement. When I landed at 11pm and my phone had no signal, I already knew exactly which bus to take and which stop to get off at. No panic, just following my plan.
My essential solo travel prep checklist looks like this:
- Check travel advisories and embassy websites – boring but important.
- Share your itinerary with someone back home – send updates every couple of days.
- Download offline maps and translation apps – Google Translate’s camera feature is magic.
- Book your first night’s accommodation in advance – nothing worse than arriving somewhere new and homeless.
- Research local customs and basic phrases – “Please,” “Thank you,” and “Where’s the toilet?” go far.
One important tip: I now save emergency contacts in my phone under “AA Emergency” so they appear at the top of my contacts list. Local police, embassy, accommodation details, and my emergency contact back home. I’ve never needed them, but knowing they’re there is reassuring.
I also learned to trust female travel reviews. Another reason I started writing them myself. There’s something special about reading another woman’s experience of staying in a particular hostel or walking through certain areas at night. That information is gold.
Facing Fears Head-On
Solo travel is basically exposure therapy in disguise. Every fear you have? You’ll end up doing it anyway – and realising it wasn’t nearly as scary as your brain made it out to be.
Take eating alone. My first solo dinner was excruciating. I brought a book with me as a prop, ordered quickly, barely looked up from my plate. I felt like everyone was staring at me, judging this sad woman eating alone.
By my third solo dinner, something had shifted. I was actually enjoying my meal, people-watching, catching the waiter’s eye for another glass of wine. I’d stopped caring what other people thought and started caring about what I wanted.
The trick is to start small:
Practice solo activities at home first – coffee shops, museums, cinemas
- Choose busy restaurants to start, where solo diners are less noticeable.
- Bring something to do but don’t hide behind it the whole time.
- Make eye contact and smile – you’ll be surprised how friendly people are.
It’s true to say you suffer more in imagination than reality. Most of the time, people are too wrapped up in their own lives to be judging yours.
The awkward moments become less awkward with repetition. Now I actually prefer eating alone sometimes – no need to coordinate with anyone else’s hunger schedule, no sharing your dessert when you want the whole thing, no judgment for ordering three appetisers instead of a proper main, and no awkward bill-splitting.
Building Connections to Beat Loneliness
The loneliness fear is probably the most overblown one. Yes, you’ll have moments where you wish you had someone to share an experience with. But you’ll also have moments where you meet the most incredible people you’d never have encountered if you’d been travelling with others.
In Lisbon, I joined a Portuguese cooking class on a whim. Ended up spending the entire evening laughing with two German girls and an Australian guy over our absolutely terrible attempts at making pastel de nata. We’re still friends years later.
Here’s how to beat the loneliness:
- Stay in hostels with common areas – not all hostels are party central; many cater to older travellers.
- Join free walking tours – brilliant for getting oriented and meeting people.
- Use Facebook groups like The Solo Female Traveller Network – seriously, these communities are amazing.
- Say yes to invitations – if it ties in with your plan and you feel comfortable, go for it.
The beauty of solo travel is that you’re more approachable. When I travelled with friends, we’d be in our own bubble, too locked in to notice other people. Solo, you’re more likely to ask for directions, ask someone to take your photo, or join a conversation at a bar.
Just by asking someone for restaurant recommendations, you could discover the most wonderful parts of your location, learn more, and meet some incredible people along the way. Solo travel doesn’t mean being lonely – it means new friends waiting.
Embracing the Ups and Downs
Let me be real with you – solo travel isn’t all enlightening moments and perfect sunsets. Some moments feel quiet. Sometimes you’re tired of making decisions. Sometimes you just want someone else to figure out where to eat dinner.
Once when I’d been traveling solo for two weeks, I was exhausted, couldn’t find my hostel, and ended up crying while eating a questionable kebab at 1am. Not my finest moment.
But you know what? The next day I found a lovely café, met a local who showed me her favourite hidden spots, and had one of the best days of my trip. The lows make the highs feel even better.
How to handle solo travel blues:
- Plan mood-lifters – book a spa day, find a pool, treat yourself to a swanky restaurant or bucket list activity.
- Journal about your experiences – sounds cheesy but it helps process everything.
- Give yourself permission to change plans – feeling meh about a city? Move on.
- Call home when needed – no shame in needing a familiar voice.
I’ve learned to be kind to myself when things don’t go perfectly. That tired, emotional evening I just told you about taught me to listen to what I needed rather than pushing through because I “should” be having fun.
The rollercoaster of emotions is part of the experience. You’ll have days where you feel like a total badass conquering the world, and days where you question why you left your comfortable bed at home. Both are normal.
You’re Braver Than You Think
Three years ago, if you’d told me I’d be writing about solo travel, I’d have laughed in your face. The girl who was too shy to eat lunch alone in her university canteen? That girl was never going solo anywhere.
But here’s what I’ve learned: you don’t need to be fearless to solo travel. You just need to be braver than your fears. And usually, that means taking one small step despite being scared.
My proudest solo travel moment wasn’t summiting a mountain or navigating a complex transport system. It was sitting on a beach in Portugal, watching the sunset, realising I was exactly where I wanted to be – with myself. The person I used to think I needed constant company from was actually pretty good company.
If something’s holding you back from solo travel, try this: pick one small solo adventure you can do this month. A day trip to a nearby city. An overnight stay somewhere you’ve never been. A solo museum visit.
Don’t wait until you feel ready. Don’t wait until you’re more confident or more organised or more whatever. Start where you are, with what you have.
Your fears are valid, but they’re not facts. And behind every fear is usually an incredible experience waiting to be discovered. Remember, a well-planned trip is a fearless trip. Be bold, learn to love your own company, and the world really is your oyster.